Zambia

Country: Zambia
Area: Lusaka

There are few things more pleasurable than travelling and seeing the world.  Well, as an avid traveler, I can tell you a few things which aren’t too pleasant but are definitely eye-openers, and so I will.

Over the past two and a half years, I have flown to and from Johannesburg and Lusaka more than 20 times, that equates to 1.5 flights per month, so I have experienced aggravation, frustration, and of course the lighter and more comical side of travelling.

You have probably experienced this yourself and therefore can visualize what I have written.

1. Good morning

Today is Saturday, and as I wake up at 06h30 every day for work, I thought I would indulge and book the midday flight from Lusaka to Johannesburg so that I could have a lie-in.

Having done this route numerous times, I diligently planned my morning routine, planning to rise at 08:00, thereafter I could head to the Lusaka office to make a few phone calls to my technicians at Kitwe.  Alas, I had left both of my cell phones in Johannesburg so I had to make that detour.

Well, you know what they say about the best laid plan?  My landlord has had serious issues with the booster pump required to bring water to the building. I stepped into the shower and lo and behold – no water.  Instead of being annoyed, I made myself a cup of coffee, leaving the faucets open (this normally brings the water through once the pump kicks in).  I heard the beautiful sound of water gushing into the shower, knowing this wouldn’t last too long, I hopped into the shower and started soaping and shampooing.  Yes, you guessed it, as soon as I was covered in suds, the water trickled to nothing. Now all soapy, I couldn’t even contact my landlord, never mind anyone else (cell phones in South Africa, remember?).

Scheming on how to rinse myself in order to start my day, I had a “Eureka” moment – I would slip and slide to the kitchen and use bottled water. Cold water – not too pleasant.  Ok, I will boil it – hmm, too hot.  The thought of travelling with scalded skin was also not pleasant.

So, what to do?  I will mix the cold and the hot water, but in what?  This was a conundrum as I spend my time in the shower planning my day, deciding the best plan of attack, and focusing on where my energy would be best spent.  To my utter relief, after what felt like an eternity due to my rescheduling, planning, and of course a full range of expletives, the water returned.  I am the first to admit, it was possibly only a minute or two – but I had replanned my whole shower, not the mention my day. Not too bad for 120 seconds.

And this was how my ‘indulgent’ day started.

2. Taxi

Sometimes I leave my car at the airport when leaving Lusaka, in the long-term parking.  What concerned me, was surprisingly not the security, but rather of leaving my new car in the boiling African sun for extended periods of time.

I drove to where I knew I could find a taxi, told him to follow me to my cottage, a mere two blocks away, so that I could leave my new car at my cottage which would mean it was in shade for at least half of each day I was in South Africa.

My cottage is in a panhandle which means there is very little space in which to turn a car around – although it is manageable.  Well, the taxi driver decided to reverse the 50 metres down my driveway.  After a great deal of maneuvering we eventually arrived on the street.  This, of course, made me realise that he was inexperienced – but I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

A hundred meters down the road, my taxi driver asked me for “fifty pin” for petrol. That is slang for K50,000 (fifty thousand kwacha) or about $10. All sorts of things started running through my mind:  “How can he run out of petrol?  This is his business; I hope there isn’t a fuel leak in this rattle trap of his; Does he know the airport is 15 kilometres away and $10 will only buy 6 litres?”.  Thankfully (or not) I had a similar experience before – it seems to be the norm before the journey can continue, yet the previous driver hadn’t insisted on upfront cash.

Thankfully, to my ‘indulgence’ I was not in too much of a hurry to reach the airport.  So feeling quite pleased with myself at my brilliant planning, I wasn’t too stressed about this unscheduled stop.  The first petrol station boasted a long line of cars waiting for fuel – a sure sign of a fuel shortage.

Being the resourceful driver he was, he ignored that station and rather went to the station across the road because there were no cars in the forecourt.  He was oblivious to the fact that no cars = no petrol, until the attendant told him that fact.

Not to worry, there is another station about three kilometres down the road, and as luck would have it, it was in the same direction as the airport.  I could now visualize either being stuck on the side of the road, needing to find another taxi (and no doubt being in the same “fifty pin” situation, or walking back to my cottage (schlepping two cases on dirt sidewalks, under the beating sun”.  Neither option appealed to me.

As they say in the classics:  “Third time lucky”.  He managed to get his “fifty pin” petrol.

The relief I felt cannot be put into words – we were on our way.

Off we went, through Kalingalinga and we eventually reached Great East Road to the airport.

This guy would drive at breakneck speed, local ethnic music blaring, careening over every bump it was clear that the shock absorbers needed to be replaced, the screech of metal indicated the same for the brakes. He accelerated, decelerated, weaved in and out of the traffic and would slow down when just about in the back of the vehicle in front.

The vehicles used by taxi operators are mostly Toyota Corolla’s, and range in age upwards of 15 years, which are shipped out of Japan or Dar es Salaam – with a retail price of $1,000 to $4,000.  This alone is a safety concern, but carry on reading…

Was I going to make it to the airport in one piece?  Was this driver a total novice? Did he actually have a driver’s license? Was he drugged? Was this a stolen car?  Was he short sighted?  These are all questions racing through my brain in a matter of a split second (but on repeat). The only conclusion I could reach was that something was amiss, but I wouldn’t figure it out.

At the last traffic circle, there is a feed-off lane to the left to the airport but this guy was in the lane to go straight.

‘You are in the wrong lane. I want to go to the airport!’ I shouted. Now fed up.

‘Sorry sir. This is only the second time I am going to the airport.”

A hundred metres further on, he decided to overtake a vehicle on a solid white line with an oncoming truck thundering down on us. The truck flicking its lights.

“Can’t you see. You can’t overtake. What’s the matter with you!” I shouted again.

“Sorry sir” he apologizes again.

That was a narrow escape and I let him know that he does not know how to drive.

In my mind, this was another case of a fraudulent driver’s license.

There is normally a police road block on this stretch of road, and I was now hoping that they would either impound this vehicle or lock this guy up, for whatever reason they could fabricate.

Anyhow, they did not read my mind, so the driver got through without a problem.

I have never been so relieved to see an airport building, albeit that I am sick and tired of seeing this particular one.

3. Laptop

Travelling light is another cardinal rule I follow.  Avoiding the cargo hold has saved me innumerable hours, and pointlessly staring at the carousel.  Also, have you noticed how people, dive for a case thinking it is theirs and then dropping it as if it is an armed bomb?

The same cases come around a hundred times before yours does, at which time you are dizzy and longing for the freedom that is leaving the airport terminal. The eternal question keeps racing through your mind:  Why is my bag always the last to appear?

We all understand the importance of security checks, why laptops need to be removed from their carry-on cases and sent through the x-ray machines, but why, oh why are the trays meant for these incredibly important personal containers of all that is sacred, never big enough?

Lusaka Airport requires you to not only remove your laptop, but pretty much get undressed.  Shoes off, belt off, cellphone, keys and whatever. I have never worked out what I must wear so that I can speed up this ritual.

Slip on sandals? Possibly an option, but there is the risk of having my toes crushed by someone in a rush and standing on my feet.

Pants without a belt? Also not an option because they will probably fall off. Elasticised tracksuit pants?  Hmm, definitely not my idea of travel wear. Lounging about the house, yes, but travelling attire – I think not.

The most frustrating thing is that there is only one x-ray machine and everyone is pushing and shoving to get their possessions through. Really, I don’t know what the hurry is, the plane will not leave without you.

We all know that getting through these security hurdles is stressful and can result in a lack of memory or recognition.  I left my cellphone in one of those trays once. Fortunately, I got it back after it was handed in to a supervisor.  But yes, that took even more time and rushing about.

One day I grabbed a laptop and cellphone as it came out of the x-ray machine and I heard an indignant voice say ‘that’s mine’. Embarrassing, because this passenger did not seem amused and did not even look my way.

I am sure at some stage you have experienced ‘open your bag’ and that gift of perfume that you bought your wife, or that knife on your bunch of keys was confiscated and thrown into the trash bin.

The departure gate of course is another educational lesson.  The minute the gate opens to board, have you seen how fast people walk to get on the plane.  I think I have figured the reason for this out:  I reckon the majority of passengers board with more than their allocated carry-on luggage, and they want to board to ensure an overhead compartment is available.

One Sunday evening I flew Business Class to Lusaka.  In Business Class you are allowed to take on two (2) pieces of carry-on luggage.  Thinking that this, being a ‘larney’ section of the plane, I could board last as my seat was in the front row, 1D. As if everything in Business Class is guaranteed. Below is the dialogue that ensued:

“Sorry sir we have to take you case and load it into the cargo hold” said the hostess.

“But I have my camera and expensive lenses in the case” I said.

I had no chance.  The case was quickly labeled and whisked away from me by a ground handler and loaded into the cargo hold.

The same happened to other Business Class passengers and even the one flashing his Platinum Voyager card had to eventually acknowledge defeat.

The hostess on this flight told me that thirty five passengers had their luggage taken out of the cabin and loaded into the hold.

The major problem one has in this situation is that when you arrive at your destination they do not offload this luggage on the apron and you need to go to the carousel.  And we all know how that works out.  Well, this is where the panic starts.

Like I said before, why am I always the last to receive my luggage? You can imagine how I panicked being the last to receive my camera case with a fish eye lens, wildlife 75-400mm lens, 300mm telephoto lens, macro lens etc. I quickly checked the case to make sure nothing was missing.

Try flying from Johannesburg to Lusaka on a Sunday evening.  All the carry-on baggage consists of these enormous shopping bags from Sandton City with brands being advertised like Gucci, Ralph Lauren,  Aca Joe, Calvin Klein, or worse yet, boxes of wine, whiskey and chocolates in those enormous Duty Free shop carrier bags.

Another immense aggravation is when you have settled in to your seat, and I always pre-book an aisle seat because of my RLS (Restless Legs Syndrome), passengers come past and give you a bash against your head while they are trying to “shake off” their back packs. Or you get a fat butt in your face as they try and hoist their overweight carry-on luggage into the overhead compartment.

4. Comfort………………..food………………

Once you have made your way to the airport safely, and made it on to the plane – sanity intact or not, there is a host of unpleasantries on the actual flight which can make you insane.  For me, screaming children are not what can drive me insane – it’s body odour.  Being stuck next to someone who is unware of their stench, and you with nowhere to run, well it’s enough to turn even the toughest stomach.

How about being squashed between two larger than average passengers?  Try eating with both elbows forced into your rib cage.  This is when I decline food, push my seat back and read or sleep.

I cannot comprehend, why the airlines provide a meal service on a flight of no longer than one hour and forty minutes.  No sooner has the air hostess asked you if you want ‘beef or fish’ or ‘ chicken or vegetarian’ than she returns to start collecting the trays.

Have you noticed how quickly one hundred and fifty passengers can gobble up food.

It is like a bunch of starving prisoners.

Is it not more practical to hand out wraps.  Which has happened a couple of times.  I remember in the U.S.A. getting on a flight and they actually had a choice of sandwiches and fruit juices displayed in a chilled display unit at the end of the jetway before one enters the plane.  You then selected what you want, devoured it in your own time and then dump the packet into a black garbage bag at the end of the flight. This seems to be the most efficient way in which to feed the proverbial masses.

I once had someone next to me who ordered red wine. Unfortunately, the glass was cracked. He poured the contents of the miniature bottle into the glass and the wine virtually went straight through. The poor guy put both hands under the glass and fortunately that stopped the wine spoiling his clothes. But the helpless look on his face was more of a sorry sight.

The passenger diagonally in front of me kept on digging into his ear with the end of his spectacles and then licking it clean. I could not believe seeing this most disgusting habit.

Across the aisle was this other character who was clipping his finger nails. Can you believe it.

5. Yellow fever………………….

The Minister of Health in South Africa, or someone in that department, decided to enforce upon travelers coming from certain African countries to South Africa the requirement to prove that they have had a Yellow Fever vaccination in the last ten years.

Now during the time I lived in Zambia, I have never heard of anyone contracting Yellow Fever.

I had been travelling to and from Zambia for two years, most of my reservations being done electronically, and never had I seen a warning that I had to have the vaccine.

Checking in on the midday flight from Lusaka to Johannesburg, the SAA clerk asked if I had my Yellow Fever card. Well no, I never had one.

“Sorry sir, we cannot check you in”.

You can imagine how the blood drained from my face. How can they do this to me? I was not the only one. Passengers were being confronted with officials just shrugging their shoulders.

I quickly ran across to the airport Clinic and all I got was ‘we are out of stock’.

Knowing that I would not make this flight I immediately went to Customer Services and requested to be on standby for the evening flight.

Now, I was sweating on the top brow because I had to drive back into Lusaka to the Health Department in Makishi Rd, because that is where they give the vaccine and issue you with the yellow card. Guess what! They were also out of stock. I was however, instructed to find a pharmacy that had stock of the vaccine, purchase it, and return so that the vaccine could be administered.

This was duly done and the next bolt from the blue. The lady/nurse who gave me the ‘shot’ then instructed me that I was only allowed to travel after ten days. I could not believe my luck. She then looked at me with that glimmer in her eyes that said ‘with a small fee I can backdate the card’. Well I acted dumb and managed to get my backdated card at no cost.

The longest day continued. I returned to the airport to be on standby. My luck. The standby passengers started receiving their boarding cards until it got to me.

Flight is now full I was advised.

Off I went again to Customer Services and this time managed to get a seat on the early morning flight.

The sad, aggravating thing about all this is that we were never checked at SA immigration, neither then nor on any subsequent trips.

Why enforce this when immigration in Johannesburg could not care a hoot.

6. Those departure and arrival forms……………..

Over the last two and a half years I have flown this sector many times, and oh!, this departure/ arrival card is painful.

Sometimes on the Johannesburg to Lusaka flight the flight attendant would hand out these forms to complete. That is great because it eliminates the pushing and shoving to grab one of these at the airport.

If you must complete one of these cards at the airport, generally one would find a whole bunch of these forms strewn all over incomplete.

I see at Lusaka, the Immigration Department has decided to print on an A4 size card now as opposed to the postcard size that was used for decades.  Surely, in the digital age, this could be streamlined and not be reliant on actual printed copies?

The immigration official has a computer on which he or she scans the bar code in your passport, takes finger imprints, asks how many days you are staying, so what kind of statistics do they then capture from the form.  It seems redundant.

Sometimes the forms at departures are the ones for arrivals and sometimes there are no forms at all. So, what is the purpose?

I do not think that the information on those cards is recorded because if you look

behind the immigration official in that little kiosk/booth, you will notice boxes of these completed forms stacked up. The information is not captured and therefore any tourist stats that I have seen published are meaningless.

A tourist publication still publishes stats giving the population at 9 million.

Some stats reflect a population of 13 million. The census, what census?

7. The cellphone brigade………………

Gee, there are some highly complexed, big headed, self-opinionated, empty vessels of pure arrogance who feel the need to make a call on the aircraft just before the doors close or as they are about to disembark.

‘We have landed and on the bus now, see you later’

The best was some guy phoning the garage complaining that his car was not ready, they have had his car for a month, not good enough and that he is going to sue them. This was the cellphone call on the bus from the aircraft to the airport building.

On the Gautrain from the airport to Sandton, some “smooth” guy sitting across the aisle next to me phones someone “How are you.? What are you doing? I have just arrived in Johannesburg. How is New York?”  All this on top of his voice.

A couple of years ago one would hear ‘ding dong’ as the safety belt sign was switched off. I think many people owned a Nokia. Fortunately, the latest smart phones don’t give you that ring when switched on.

8. Maids

It irritates me when housewives talk about their maids. Woman can chat about that amongst themselves, that’s OK for me.  Never in my wildest dreams (nightmares?) did I think that, at the age of 66, I would be managing maids in a foreign country.

Renting a cottage meant, of course, I had to find a maid.  A lady was recommended to me who was out of work and whose husband had died. That was OK.

But what do I do about the cottage keys. Being a strange maid, I sent my admin lady, Liz, from my office to open the cottage on a Monday and Thursday. Not even ten minutes away. At midday, she would return to the cottage to lock up. She was a very pleasant maid, but after a few weeks she advised me that she had been offered a full time job somewhere in the Eastern Province. Oh no, I thought to myself.

Anyhow, she brought a niece of hers as a replacement. A very pleasant young girl ( most people here are pleasant ). Fortunately, just after she started, Roz came up and spent a week here. This was good because then at least Roz could show her what is required.

9. Caught………scam………..

One evening, at the Spar parking lot, a local approaches me and says:

“Do you remember me?”

“No” I said

“Yes, from immigration at the airport, don’t you remember.”

Now I am getting nervous, because I was in the country only on a temporary permit. Not wanting to step out of line with the authorities I then acknowledge him.

He proceeds to give me a long story about his car and petrol etc. and asks for “fifty pin” (fifty thousand kwacha). I handed over the cash, but it was later that I realized I was conned.

On another occasion, which could have been genuine, also in a parking lot at an office block, I had a very unusual incident.

Reversing out of the parking bay, I noticed someone walking behind me, but close to the row of vehicles parked opposite to where I was reversing.

Diligently I look behind for any vehicles that might be behind me.

After I had reversed out I hear a knock on my car.

I stop, open my window, and there was this individual.

He accused me of reversing over his foot and demanded compensation so that he could visit a doctor. An argument ensued. I knew that I was not winning and drove off.

A kilometer or two later a car overtakes me and tries to push me off the road. I recognized the passenger as the guy that tried get money from me. A motor race then became part of this whole encounter. I eventually lost them going around a traffic circle.

At the office I related the story to one of my personnel. I was then told that this is an old trick especially when it came to visitors.

It was a scary moment I might tell you.

10. Motor Cavalcade………..

I think we have all read about how countries have these unbelievable displays of all the pomp and ceremony when there is a visiting dignitary.

The 22 vehicle long, motor cavalcade is perhaps acceptable, but definitely not against the backdrop of the waste of manpower and the cost of these exercises. It is ridiculous in a country with high unemployment, poverty, corruption.

From 06h00, every intersection and traffic round-about is manned, by a combination of police, traffic police and para-military. They are waiting for a dignitary to arrive and this could possibly only happen at midday.

There is a high percentage, if not the majority are woman, and I have yet to ascertain whether they are part-timers. I can only assume so because they have their caps neatly positioned on their fancy wigs, designer stockings and high heels. Let alone the rotund physiques that make one think that they are fat cats with contacts.

11. Donor money…………….

There are two books that I have read, I suppose out of many written, about countries in Africa receiving foreign aid. Not particularly well written, but they are an overview of the endemic problem in Third World countries.  Dead Aid by Dr Dambisa Moyo (a Zambian economist) and The Capitalist Nigger by Chika Onyeani (a Nigerian journalist)

16. Sport………….

The 2012 Olympic sports in London are currently being played and it makes me think about my own country and its participation. Yes, we have produced some Gold, Silver and Bronze Medal participants. We have not though, produced participants from most of the sports disciplines. It begs the question – why not?  We South Africans believe we are a sport crazy country. Are we? In what categories!

So, what about the country in which I am currently working?  Zambia.

I don’t hear anyone in Zambia talking about the Olympics. I don’t see anything in the media about the Olympics.

In Lusaka, there is an Olympic Youth Development Centre, the construction was sponsored by the IOC to promote sports in Zambia.  The centre was opened in 2010 and hopefully this will be fruitful.

Unfortunately, these facilities are donated, but as I see it, administering and utilising these facilities for what they are intended for can be the weakness.

Magnificent stadiums for soccer have been and are being built by the Chinese in Ndola and Lusaka. Why such opulent stadiums when I believe the money could be better spent in education.

17. Transport, Infrastructure …………..

Getting around in the major centres is by means of mini bus taxis. They are all identifiable by their blue colour. These taxi’s weave in and out of the traffic, the same as in South Africa, but they are not aggressive.

Long distance there are buses.

Bicycles are a very popular means of transport, husband and wife on the same bicycle.

The passenger train system is virtually non existent. The train from Lusaka to Dar Es Selaam supposed to leave at a certain time in the week and the estimated time of arrival, although published, is not guaranteed. I personally would not catch a train

because the rail lines are not maintained. They are not straight. I am sure the train “rocks and rolls” as it goes along.

On the rail line in Lusaka informal traders have set up shop at the crossings. Once a day when the train comes along they move off the line and then when the train has passed they move back on to the line.

18. Whose fault is it…………………….

Listening to BBC Africa on the radio this afternoon, there was a report that a Chinese manager at a coal mine in southern province was killed due to a pay dispute with Zambian miners.

A local reporter, who was interviewed, tried to be unbiased during his interview. He stated that the problem possibly arises from the fact that there is a culture and work ethic difference between Chinese workers in Zambia and the locals. The “Chinese are prepared to work seven days a week, and even stay and work where they have invested. Not like Westerners, who invest but when times get tough they run away”.

He never commented on an incident two years ago when a Chinese national at the same mine shot and killed a worker. Two years later he has still not been charged.

This reporter needs to do more research, about who and what, keeps Zambia ticking over. A few years ago, 25% of the GDP was from donor money and currently (2012), I believe it is now down to 15%. My view is that the GDP has shot up because of the increase in the price and production of copper.

He does not recognise the fact that, from agriculture to tourism to wild life conservation, there would be nothing if it was not for expatriates and funding from first world citizens and institutions.

20. Thanks…….

In life, one meets up with so many types of people and cultures.

What is really motivating is when one is acknowledged and therefore you know you are not wasting your time

I had a situation when, for a few months, I could not pay salaries timeously and instead of paying our personnel at the end of the month, I was paying them as and when cash flow permitted.  When I apologised for the delayed payments, one of my technicians sent me a text message something like this “don’t stress, we understand”.

When I gave all personnel notice that we were winding down the business, one of the older technicians wanted to see me in my office. His words were “thank you, you are like our father”.

These are the things that keep you going.

22. Everyone without exception, asked me “why are you going to Zambia, above all places?”

The motivation was obviously that I saw opportunity to earn dollars and participate in the development of a country where there was a lot happening.  I also wanted to expand our business by increasing our footprint into Africa.

The first year, 2010, required knocking on doors and proving the services we could offer.

The second year, 2011, we concluded service contracts with Spar, Steers, Debonairs, NGO offices etc.  The Radisson Blu Hotel required re-installation of two hundred air-conditioning systems, which resulted in us taking nearly twelve months to complete. There were no mechanical or electrical consultants appointed for this site. We also completed installation of nine cold rooms and freezer rooms on behalf of the kitchen catering equipment supplier.

In the same year, we supplied and installed the refrigeration and air-conditioning equipment for two Spar Supermarkets and two KFC’s in Lusaka.

In Kitwe, we commenced installation of air-conditioning systems in the Barloworld Equipment offices in Kitwe in about October 2011. By end of September 2012 this job was basically completed, but we could not commission because no power was available.

Amongst other work, 2011, was a good year from a work volume point of view.

I was very happy with the fast pace at which things were happening.

I was also motivated by the planned projects for 2012, by the likes of Spar, KFC and shopping centres in Ndola, Kitwe & Lusaka. Foundations had started on certain projects, but that got no further and no projects materialised in 2012.

All the franchises/franchisees that opened facilities in Lusaka in 2011 said, that they will have to wait for their existing stores/restaurants to bed down and volumes to increase before they would consider expanding. There are no positive signs at the moment.

Shopping centres that are planned for Ndola and Kitwe will only come on stream mid-2013. However, the logistics of obtaining building material timeously makes it very difficult to achieve deadlines. Because this is the Copperbelt, the anchor tenants will be the likes of Shoprite, Pep, Pick n Pay,  Bata Shoes, Hungry Lion Chicken, Spar, KFC etc.

Hotel chains are also planning to build in these centres.

23. Overall impression………

One of the most striking features of Zambia is the friendliness of the population and the spirituality.  If one compares the day to day mood, there is no aggression.

One does not even get aggro with the bad-mannered taxi drivers.  Unfortunately, this country is full of frustrations and the red tape to open a business is a big negative.

This was a chapter in my life which although not profitable in a business sense, but

profitable from a point that I learnt so much about life and about Africa. The corruption, the poverty, the short life span, the fuel shortages, the de-forestation, the pollution etc.

We in South Africa and Westerners complain about small things. But if you want to experience real life, you have to spend time working and living in central African countries. You will then appreciate what you have.